what is the meaning of life..

so what is the meaning of life.. i love that guy again hes amazing. he came back from being on holidays and he followed me around most of the flood relief concer night. i was really happy. i also recieved 2 hugs.  i dont know where i stand with him though. im so confused so i’ve decided i will wait and be paitient, because i want him alot and i dont want to be pushy, but what is the point of waiting, we only live once so why am i wasting my time waiting for something that might not even happen but what if i blow it because i dont wait. life is so confusing. i still arent friends with the mean girls, theyre still nasty but then others are trying to get me jst to make up with them and i dont want to, but ive been hanging out with another girl, shes so fun.  but shes jst perfect, never a pimple, perfectly one colored toned face, she doesnt need make up. she looks gr8 with any hair colour.   she doesnt have to try at all then theres me.  i have to make sure my hair isnt too soft or isnt to ratty have to fix my fringe cos i have a cow lick.. i have to wear make up to make my face one colour i have to take tablets for my pimples, pluck my eyebrows, everything jst to look decent.  and still everyone notices her not me, i spose its ok. im a little jealous i jst dont know what to do.  but life is too short to be sad i guess im stuck i dont know :( anyway thats all for now, goodnight

how my hair was i wish colours didnt fade. 

how my hair was i wish colours didnt fade. 

this is me

this is me

picture is amazing.

picture is amazing.

this picture is cool because i’d like to meet up with a guy in a green messy place like that :)

this picture is cool because i’d like to meet up with a guy in a green messy place like that :)

dddannnnng these boys <3  i would date any of them in a giffy.  why dont people look like that these days,  or why isnt their hair cut the same :(   im living in the wrong year!

dddannnnng these boys <3  i would date any of them in a giffy.  why dont people look like that these days,  or why isnt their hair cut the same :(   im living in the wrong year!

gday

helllo.    im kind of happy, life could be better but it also could be worse.. tomorrow mother and partner are taking me and sister for mystery trip i hope they dont take us somewhere shit.. im using my laptop today havent for yonks, its wicked as :)

i have decided, i want a 80s boy but dont think i wil ever find one but maybe justin bieber will jst have to do me in the meantime.  I brought a new 80s cd yesterday i’ve been putting it onto itunes today its gr8 !!!  songs back then are so.. lovely and real.   i think im going to go try and find some more followers and maybe i’ll post some pictures on this one and write something about them byee :)))

AVRIL LAVIGNE.

the other week i went to jb hi fi and brought avril lavignes first 2 albums.  i never knew how frreaking amazing she is, her songs bring me tears.. the words are so lovely and she writes about real things, she writes about things that actually pop into your head and she throws it into a song that sounds fab!  her voice jst fits in there perfect and shes her own person.  im in love! i reccomend her to everyone but buy her music do not steal.

so its been a while since i wrote on here.. seems ive got 1 follower and all.  um so ive  toughened up i think.

new years has been.. i got with 10 guys im pretty proud of myself considering i thought i’d get no one.:)  and i got a new years kiss to.  and i have now decided about that ex boyfriend.. im going to hurt him no violence is not the answer but i no he thinks ill never ever do anything to pay him back because im quiet and weak but im going to find him one night and hurt him so he knows that im not really jst a shy controlling bitch that he doesnt wanna know.

okay so the boy i like jst wants to be friends with me, which sucks.  but his not in town so i hope when he gets back maybe jst maybe he might like me.. but maybe im dreaming.  i called him a bitch because i lost all my bestfreinds because they had a big hissy fit over tumblr and facebook so i said yeh whatever fuck yous fighting with me over a website.  and then i was in that mood like oh yeh i dont need no one and i thoughtthe same about this guy.. but no i was wrong and i really do want him but it was jst my own mistake.  anyway i hope im that one girl out of millions that maybe justin bieber will love…. <3333  peace out ;)

so just as i think this boy doesnt like me and im just going to have to get over it no. i think there is a chance, and like i say no rush so i should get to know him alot more, because i dont want to make the same mistake as last time.  But so what if I do hey.  I will have to get over that as well.  Anyway I find him lovely.  I think I’d like to have sexual intercourse with him, that would be lovely too, it’s been about 2 months since I’ve done it and its horrible, It’s nice to feel love :)  and i cho choo choooooooose him!  I have nothing to lose anyway so why not.  We are text messaging right now, I always worry about if i reply wrong, like what i say comes out wrong.  Hmm, so what if it does, he should know what i’m like by now :)  Anyway it will be very nice if he likes me back and we go further, but if he doesnt, then thats not either of our fault, I can’t help being me and It’s wrong for me to change to suit someone else, as that leads to unihappiness of course and it’s wrong for him to like/love someone who just doesn’t get along with the same as he might with someone else, one day there will be someone out there for me, someone thats see’s me as beautiful, hopefully this guy right now but if not, i’m only 15 so doesnt matter:)